Current Doing: Reflecting
Wishing for: Peace in my heart
I msged fik. Saying I miss him. & i guess it was too early to msg him after a break up. I truly miss him. But i do not want to be with him nor anyone. I just need to let it out to the exact person than to people who knows about my probs. Well..
He hurled me lots of things. He called me a playgirl. He said "bitches they come they go." He said i was just trying to get his attention by msging him saying to himt o pay back my mom $10. I wasn't really tryna get his attention to get him back. I swear. He thinks I have another guy. Or replacement or whatever. I DO NOT have another guy to replace him or another guy to love. He said he had enough of me. I cant reply anything. I forgave him for neglecting me. But i guess he haven't forgive me for all my past. I shall jsut pray he will. I know.. I can defend myself. But what's e use of digging up things thats from e past now? Nothing. I shall just give in coz.. Whatever he said.. Is all isn't true. I just hope.. he feels better saying those things to me.. Am out of tears.. I envy my fren's rship.. On the other hand.. I learnt a lesson.. A valuable lesson about love..
Love hurts. be it in any form. It shows how much a person loves u if they are willing to give u chances. How far they really are willing to go for u.. They dun promise u the sun, moon or e stars... They promise u reality. & they keep it. No matter how small the promises are.. It still meant a lot to em. I promised him i'll love him forever. I do. & still loving him. Its just we cant be together. Coz i dun agree with e way he is treating me. To him, my resort is only break up. To me, enough is enough. If i can't knock sense into him with my words. I have to do something drastic as this. He left me with no choice.
One thing is for sure. I am not confused anymore. I am single. & i shall make full use of this spare time of my own. I love him. Yes. But I wont want to be with him.. for now..coz.. we disagree too much. & i ain't gonna blame anyone rite now. Last but not least...
I wont contact u nemore.. If that really makes u happy & contented...