Sunday, June 29, 2008

Reprogram my mind

I have to come to terms of certain things in my life.

For I realise that I am always the one who try my very best and till the very end to emotionally support someone. & I will never give up on that.

But when I think it over.. Is it fair? That in turn, drowned in my own probs, to be supporting my ownself with my unstable emotions? I don't really call this complaining but.. how much more can me, ina, who is weak and all bear this? I am pretty much known to be emotional.. but somehow i pulled through after weeks & months of reprogramming my head. To stop being there for someone who can't be there for me. I don't know..

U know what hurts me most? When u said, "I have enough of everything, as its going to fast.. I cant feel anything anymore. I'm sorry i cant share with u ur problems.." 

Hell. It striked so hard that another guy i devote myself to cant really be there be there. Because he cant take it that everything's too hard for him.  & how abt me? Ok wait. I KNOW . I KNOW u lost someone. I know very deeply. If its not because I don't live with her, it would be she's to be my mother in law! & i have to come to terms whereby i dun have a mother in law's doteness, or how other people normally go through! 

& me? I'm just another pathetic girl. Who gave everything i could.. who.. is currently emotionally drained. Who has some internal problems. Who now.. came to terms whereby she will always be alone. 

I don't know what else to say. I'm so out of words. Sobs....


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