So am doing my last recaps. Yeah. I need to bathe soon.
I am stupid i could say.
I checked. & rechecked the profile.
How much it aches when i see it.
Hell. How much it really ached when I even thought of it.
Lately, my reason to sleep was just to forget.
Its fruitless as I know. The next day I will still remember.
N it'll start to reminisce.
u know. When how I am there to watch practices.
Or even performances.
& suddenly it'll flashed through the laughter.
Although I remember a lot of tears..
& then It flashed thru the bedrooms.
The family. The birthdays.
Then slowly to mishaps.
Then watching u sleep.
& suddenly to reflect again.
Another person's on your bed.
Another person's in ur head.
Another person's name on ur lips.
And another person That u kiss.
That dun matter.
Y ? Is it that I'm so easy to be used?
So easy to be forgotten?
Dun my face flash in front of u when u fucked someone else?
Dun you wish it was my scent on hers when u fuck someone else?
Why 3 years with me, meant nothing to u?
Why do u dare say u love me when ur with someone else?
Why do u lie to me when u know am bound to find out?
Why are u feeling jealous when you're e one fucking another girl?
How come its hard fer me to let go this hatred?
Because people tell me to act as if nothin happen.
How e fuck am i to act nothin happened when it is a big thing to me.
U cant keep shuttin me away.
Because U can only understand. But u dun feel me.
U try to be logical. Rational. But u just cant feel e burden of letting some hatred out.
Exact feelings are:
Inside me is in a turmoil. My heart is racing really fast & that its bubbling really badly that I could burst anytime. Revenge is on e verge of my fingertips and seriously, his perfidy destroyed my soul!! It was cruel. Stupid. Senseless & inhuman of wad he treated me as! Of what any guy wud treat a girl as!
I wud say, he can fuck off. People tell me what makes me think that he'll care with whatever am saying here!
I say, i dun need him to care. I just need him to realise. N when he realise. I hope his fucked up attitude is too high in the air that he'll be crashing down so hard. He seriously messed with the wrong girl. & i am going to be a total bitch. Twice!!!
This cominn 2008. Resolution: FORGET THAT BLARDY ASSHOLE.
To seriously get a new job that'll take 3/4 of my time.
Get enough money.
Hopefully go into Shatec.
If not just save up fer my Degree.