Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Blessed but ain't enough.

As humans, no matter how great our life is, we will never be contented.

Knowing Baby RonRon is the best thing that ever happened to me(aside from my ever faithful bestie gal pals; I NEVER forget what they did for me).. The nicest among the others too.

But still, i tend to unintentionally abuse him like suddenly raising my voice at him in public(because he was annoying and kept poking me plus u know...mood swings)..or pinching him or beating him(now not as hard anymore)..It's a..erm.. bad thing. It made me feel i disrespected him even if I was just playing around(I never had been too girlie whirley u know).. I rili rili really really really felt bad doing that before he booked in on Sunday.

& when it was to for him to go off, we didnt really had a good hug or a long kiss(was just a peck as my parents were ard) or a proper way to say "I'm sorry"..

& as usual, am now missing him like crazy after putting down the phone when lights off. I can't stand not clearing myself enough to him.

It's like, when he's away, I'll start thinking of him. But when he's in front of me.. I get pissed easily when he just love to press my ignition buttons. & at times he wont stop. Plus, I LOVE to manje with him. We tend to talk about:

-things we wish to buy
-how our babies gonna look like*wince*
-bike(he's planning to get it)
-how tired when he's in camp
-gossip about anyone we know

It doesn't end there. I LOVE his company & I LOVE how he ever once said,
"I promise you, I will never make u feel like u felt when u were with him.."

You don't know how much it hurt me when he said that. 

I do admit, sometimes certain things he unintentionally did, hurt me subconsciously because of the past.. It still haunt me especially the hurt. I AM DEFINITELY over him(EX). But not the hurt

I am tryin my best to not hurt my Ronron because of what he didn't do. 

The regret etched deep in me right now. No matter how he forgot about it. 

At times, I know what he's thinking. 
Am I gonna stay with him?
Will I cheat him?
Am I using him?
Am I flirting around?
Do I appreciate him?

Haha.. If only he could read my mind like how Edward Cullen can.. He would know no one can love him like I do. 

If God suddenly took him away,
If he finally tells me he can't connect to Islam,
If a girl takes him away from me..

Am sorry with this emo post but seriously.. it felt much better to let it off... for now..

Saturday Valentine's Day. What to wear?

P.s I love you Aaron.
P.ps Where have Shir,Syasya & ika gone too ? =(..


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