Numb

I don't wish to talk about today. 

:) Am fine though.

Oh well I am bored right now.

I am trying to find things to do. maybe i'll check around youtube or something.

Because bf is practically obsessed with his new PC. & I am finding it irritating with him goin on & on with Spore. Fuck with SPORE. ARGH!

I get so easily irritated by him at times I have no idea why. BUT I SO LOVE HIM. 

Tell me about it.  -Now talking to him on the phone and he's still raving about that stupid SPORE! WTF?!!!-

I can't believe i'm gonna be stuck with him for the rest till God knows when. Oh am not regretting. Just that I have not been complaining. & i am feeling like one rabbling bitch so i just need to say something out. Like i said. I AM BORED.

Love you.. 

Love you...~|~

iNa

& so...

Got to a decision.

What happens, happen.

I so need starfruit juice now. I like it. Sour :D

I miss bf badly. We just met just now. For like 2 hours. Only.

I was yearning for him. Now still am. Sigh..

Mom & dad being nice to me i guess.. House work I was to sweep. Instead of mop. Haha

Mom so understood me.

Life is pretty mono. Wake up eat sleep. now that am not working anymore. School's study period. & nothing much i could do at home just hoping there's food around. & am still not fat. Bf keeps telling me to download that Spore game thingy. E game isn't even released yet. Only that creature maker thingy. I will download it much later. LAZY . 

I am still craving for banana milk shake and hot dogs. Am seriously gonna make a trip to Orange Julius which is just 10 mins away. AAARGHHH!! I WANT BANANA MILK SHAKE!!!!! I can't eat cheese. Cheese makes me vomit nowadays.I vomited cream of mushroom thats mixed with cheese the other day. E vomit wasn't nice cause i don't even know if it was cheese or vomit. I am also craving for Carl's Jr chilli corned beef with fries (i think thats wad its called). I can't wait for my nausea to go off. I swear. Because it is very bad whereby i CAN end up vomiting everything i eat. 

Argh.. Baby.. Hurry bathe! I AM BORED!!

iNa

Make me laugh someone.

It's already the middle of June.

& so many things happened.

1st: It isn't about my boyfriend. He is as good at decent as always.

To those who knew. & if ur reading this. I CAN'T keep.

It's saddening enough. Details. Ask my boyfriend.

Oh my birthday celebration was just ok.

Nothing special. But I want to thank to those who celebrated it with me. Well I had 3 celebrations. Haha. Thanks to: baby, hui2,ryan, Qiu yan, alex, andy, eugene, my family, shir & syasya :) Thanks a million. 

I have nothing much to say just that I'm still pretty weak. I can't stand staring into e laptop too much. Argh.

iNa

New phone

I bought a new phone.

Something not really worth mentioning.

Haha. Cause its K810i

I know la pathetic but still.....


There is this one word that has always described what I felt lately.
'Loneliness'.


If I were to define it..

I don't know what.
I have family.
I have friends.
I have a bf.

But i'm still lonely.
Because. I'm just going thru this alone i guess.

Sigh.. Need my med already.

Oh yeah.. I love Shirin & Syasya.
I miss my ulu friends... :)
& i miss his mom....

iNa

Confusion

I..
hope what I am doing is right.

I don't know if he's ready. I just feel like he's not.
Am i expecting too much?
Or do i actually have e right to expect too much?

With all after what he'd gone thru..
I know I have to give him a lot of moral support.

Am i giving enough? Or am still lacking?

I just feel like I am scared I couldn't keep up with it..
Because of what I am now..
I am gettin so emotionally exhausted.
& mentally as well.

I have no idea what am i suppose to do.

I feel like am alone. And the only one going thru what I'm going thru..

It's not about being sick of being there for him.. it's about something else..

Everything I do takes a lot of me to do it.
With no one knows or even some knew they have no idea of what i'm going thru.

I am feeling in the pits now.
If it really is a wrong turn.. I may not know what am capable of doing...........

iNa