Embracing..Depression.

Something's odd about me lately.
I don't feel like myself.
I am not as optimistic about ANYTHING anymore.
I just feel.. Alone..

It's about everything in the world that I feel is against me.
I don't know WHAT.

I..
I have a confession to make.
It's been a year plus.
& i still not over it.
& the emotion & flashback of it is really hard on me now.

If I am not strong willed right now, I would have gone insane.
RonRon can't relate to me with what happened - even though he is involved.

I should have went for counseling but to me, I don't think my depression is THAT bad.
I still can function like as per normal.

The feeling came when I started school.(July)
Cause around the same time last year, I was in MDIS.

RonRon is having his own problems & as down as I am now, I had to think twice of going into that 'self-destruct' mode.

All my life, I had lived.. Thinkin of others' feelings be it whatever wrongdoings i had intentional or not.

The memory still so fresh.
Those developing fingers & toes...
The days whereby, I was on my own emotionally to deal with the loss.

I can't say anything anymore.. I am at loss for words..

*i miss ronron so much..*